Self Talk Art: 54 Things Wrong with Gwendolyn Rogers
To build on our discussions about self talk, this week we learned about proactive and reactive comments. We classified sample situations as proactive and reactive before discussing the brain science behind self talk.
I talked to my class about the pathways in the brain created by negative self talk and we explored strategies for countering it. It boiled down to something my counsellor talks about:
“We need to stop ‘should-ing’ on ourselves’”
When we ‘should’ on ourselves, we are ascribing a value judgement to things that are often (1) out of our control, (2) unrealistic societal beliefs, and/or (3) events that happened in the past. What do I mean? Think about your own self talk and see if any of these seem familiar:
I can’t have _________ because I am fat/unhealthy/disgusting
I will never be able to run 10k- I should just be able to get out there, what is wrong with me?
I am not a math person—my brain is just not built for it.
You’re so creative! I could never create art like you do.
My house is a mess—unlike ________—I can’t have people over.
Why won’t my child eat ______? If I was a better parent, they would like more types of food!
If any of these sound familiar…you have probably ‘should-ed’ the heck out of yourself. In the statements above, you can see so many problems:
Body/Food shame are HUGE. Even though we know THERE ARE NO BAD FOODS and genetics can be involved, we as a society ascribe so much shame around food and body size. We make so many assumptions about what people can do based on their body size and what they eat. See my post about the shame of being fat for more information about this.
Academic/Creative Failures…There is no such things as a ‘non math brain’ or a ‘noncreative brain’. Am I saying math is easy for everyone? Nope! Do people have working memory, computational fluency, and problem solving challenges. Yup! Am I saying that with explicit teaching strategies/supports as well as positive thinking, kids can learn—absolutely. The instant belief that it is impossible, or that a brain just can’t do it are HUGE stumbling blocks.
The comparison deathtrap…We will never be as good as_______. Our house will never look as clean or organized as a magazine. What does society and the inequity in society tell us we need to look like and act like? These are often hard beliefs to face—and question. They need to be explored in order to understand WHY we hold beliefs and create the self talk that we do.
Ok, but how did you do the art?
Negative self talk starts so young—by grade seven, it is ingrained. As an educator, I have a responsibility to help my students learn about self talk and how to counter it. This art activity built on the discussions we have been having with 54 Things Wrong with Gwendolyn Rogers.
Activity
Day 1
We reviewed what self talk was
We explored proactive and reactive reactions to situations
I gave the students a list of positive character traits
They had to pick FOUR that they thought described them
They made a chart with the FOUR traits on the back of the page
We moved around the class and voted on which word we thought described each student the best.
Each student folded an 11 X17 piece of paper hotdog style
They wrote the word with the most votes in block letters on the top half in sharpie
Wrote our name on the bottom part
Day 2
Watercolour wash both halves of the paper in contrasting colours
When dry, cut the word in HALF
Glued the two halves of the word around our name
Framed on black paper
Student Observations
Day 1
As the students continued to learn about self talk, they uncovered the truth that negative is more common. They also noticed that it was ‘easier’ to think of negative self talk or negative words to describe themselves than positive. When asked to choose four positive words from a list of about 50 positive character traits, it was hard. Kids struggled to find more than one and we often talked to people at our group who said ‘well, of course you are kind, hard-working, and empathetic!’ and easily rattled of the positive.
This was powerful and joyful. Kids were taken aback by what their classmates said—you really think I am helpful? Wow! Thank you!
After we went around as a class and made the tally marks, students were excited to see what their classmates saw in them. It made me smile. For me, this was an activity to also build positive class connections and class community—and it worked.
Day 2
I had the painting supplies out and modelled doing a quick wash. The students did the wash first thing in the morning and we put the art together after recess.
Art is so interesting, because so many kids think they are not artistic. As a class, we notices when we were ‘should-ing’ on ourselves and tried to stop it. We forged ahead and created the art. Kids were excited to see their work on the board and see each classmate.
Student Led Conferences
On day 2, we had Student Led Conferences. What was the most popular activity? Telling families all about the art and what their classmates see in them. They taught family members about self talk, and how it is a work in progress. They pointed out various students and how each student personified the word painted around their name. I did an internal happy dance with each discussion. It was beautiful.
The art is done, but the discussions are not. This display is at the front of our classroom and will stay there for awhile. The kids are faced daily with something good that they first thought about themselves and then other classmates reinforced.
Battling self talk is a lifelong journey. It is sneaky and the first step is noticing it. Notice it in yourself and notice the assumptions your self talk is implying about yourself and society. Once you notice these pieces, you can start to counter it!
My anxiety monster (aka Bruce) is a negative self talk expert! I am on my own journey and I am using my skills/strategies to help make sure the humans that come through my room have the tools they need to see the good in themselves and treat themselves with dignity.
This art activity was a beautiful step on our class journey connected to a powerful book.